tormentus

Foxworth went to a convention, a friend of his stole...ahem...borrowed his mono-pod for his video camera, this is truly an amateur shoot, but the cool thing is the faceoff between these two drummers.

Oh and before you laugh, you try to drum in ski mittens.

TTFN

Alex

So the gift giving holiday is coming and I believe in doing my best to get something you would like or be interested in. Please respond with 3 interests so I can do better this year.

Thank you in advance,

Alex

birthdays. sometimes so final, sometimes a beginning, I am celebrating my day of birth, today. What am I doing? not much, as this week was a brute. i am going to enjoy my friends and some fun at the Lake City bar. Oh, did you want to come? Ok, that would be cool, 9pm, on LKC way next to QFC.

I also want to wish all who have had or are about to have a birthday to have a great one.

Happiness on my birthday to me, happiness on your birthday to you!


TTFN

Alex~~

catchy song i heard on the radio, thought i would share...

watch this video....




too classic for words.

Weezer - Pork and Beans

http://www.bash.org


Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it

for those who have played or ever seen Guitar Hero 2 played, and this is also for those that have no clue what i am talking about.

Carry on my wayward son -- Kansas -- expert mode





965 notes streak = 1005 notes hit...NOT ONE MISSED!!!


fucking unbelevievable......


alex

Here are some conversations, which had (rumour has it) actually happened between help-desk people and their customers, but before you read these, please sit down and remove any objects from your hands ie: drinks, food and/or children, oh and sharp objects.




















Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

Customer: "I don't need any of that SQL stuff - I Just want a database!"

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Customer: "I have a long distance modem."

Customer: "I don't have a space bar.

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."

Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it."

Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word set-up disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No ..."

Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?@#$?

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."

Customer: "I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I get the Server or Workstation version?"
Tech Support: "Well, are you using it as a workstation or as a server?"
Customer: "A server. So, which one do I get?"
Tech Support: "The server version perhaps?"
Customer: "Which one is that?"
Tech Support: "Windows NT Server."
Customer: "Ok, thanks."

Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"

Customer: "I can't log in to my account."
Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration."
Customer: "Ok...but I know that my User ID is case sensitive."
Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the 'User ID' field?"
Customer: "Like I said, 'Case Sensitive'."

Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

Bleustar wrote....


I Have The Best Husband

I've had some sort of stomach thing for the last two days. I've been pretty sick, and have mostly been in bed and haven't been able to really eat anything. Well, we're supposed to be hosting Easter dinner here tomorrow, but I haven't been able to really clean my house up or do any of the planning I usually do. And as most of you know, I'm completely neurotic when it comes to housecleaning. Not to mention the fact that my stepmother will be here, and she is incredibly critical of my housecleaning skills. I dread every time that she comes over, but I keep inviting them, for some reason...oh, yeah, because I want to be able to see my father!

Well, Toby knows how sick I've been, and he's taken on all of the housecleaning himself. He's really done a wonderful job of cleaning everything to my specifications, and has worked really hard. Plus, he's doing all the shopping, and doing most of the cooking tomorrow, too. I really could not have asked for a better man to share my life with.

I'm beginning to feel better, but after throwing up all night last night, my abdomen really hurts, and it's hard to bend over. (You all wanted to know that, right?)

Anyway, Happy Easter everyone. I hope your Holy Week has been an enlightening one.
Current Mood: grateful grateful
Current Music: The Ten Commandments
_________________________________________________________________________________________


Ok i read this after watching about an hour of a british car show, Top Gear, and so i immediately used a british accent, an not a very good one at that, in my head.....what?? yes, i do hear the voices most of the time of the people that are writing, NO, I am not blinking daft, next you'll be saying i am bloody silly.

where was i?
Oh?!!!

so umm read this but with a british accent and it is still the SWEETEST thing i have read all day. Happy Bloody Easter, Darling you git better now ya hear?? What the deuce...where did i get a southern accent from...

...I love ya , alex " the flipping bloody british accent southern raised yankee."

Quote:ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS!

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary submitted this...

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn
Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little "something extra" for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser.

The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against flesh or a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!!!

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really (and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

(&# %&;) (# %) (&#*#*)!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner and then body slammed us both on the carpet over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A ONE-SECOND BURST when you zap yourself!!! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

That hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there???

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I'm still looking for my testicles and offering a significant reward for their safe return.

http://www.futuristicsexrobotz.com


words do not express how funny some of these songs are....


....the whole album is free.



me

Pachabels Canon


enjoy.

I want to thank everyone that came tonight to the Barca lounge for fun and merriment to celebrate my lovely wifes birthday, i truly appreciate it.

you know where i am and you know how to reach me, let me know if any of need anything.

love to all.
ALex

James Brown is Dead
La Style

Do ya know what day it is? No? Well, let me remind you.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHOENIXBUTTERFLY!!!!!!!

I love you sweetie and I am so glad i married the best damn woman evah! EVAH EVAH!!!

Husband.

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this is from the November 12th at Merc....see the rest at http://www.myspace.com/the_merc